I was driving from Texas to Alabama last week, closing out a solo 11 hour journey and singing along to the radio. As I belted out the words Bohemian Rhapsody, I noticed that my windshield was grimy from almost two weeks of exposure to high temps, desert soil and ocean mist. Sand, salt and several varieties of bird had left their marks on what had previously been a clean piece of glass. Ahead on the road were signs of a thunderstorm brewing: dark clouds, wind and hints of torrential rain spilling from the clouds. As much as I dislike driving in the rain, I welcomed the relief it would bring to my dirty car. As I continued into the first spattering of rain, I thought how nice it would be if other situations in life could be as easily removed from memory the way the rain was erasing the signs of my trip from the car. I had traveled to see someone with hopes of spending quality time together and seeing where it might lead. Sadly, the quality time was cut short and I ended up leaving early because of a difference of opinion. I silently wished as the rain cascaded down the windows that I could remove the memory of the last few days the way the water was removing the evidence of my travels. As I drove I cried a little, laughed at how silly it was to cry and got mad all in the space of a few songs. After a while the rain started to slow down, the sky ahead became clearer and suddenly there was a beautiful rainbow in the sky. I pulled over to get a picture ( something I do for rainbows, beaches, buildings, animals, flowers or anything else that catches my eye). Once I captured the brilliant colors with my phone, I sat for a minute longer, looking out at the sky. I could see traces of the rain still on the glass and along the edges where the windshield wipers didn’t reach, there were still remnants of the salt, sand and bird offerings. A second, more powerful thought jumped out at me. We can try to wash away bad memories and experiences but a part of them always remains. The thunderstorm was uncomfortable but having gone through it, I was rewarded with the rainbow. In parallel, maybe we should not try to erase the discomforts of life. Maybe we should keep “driving” and see what waits for us on the other side. The memory will always be there but if we are lucky, something good can still come from it, even if it is only a reminder of what we should avoid in the future.
Published by Angi Ryan
Ginger, dreamer, mermaid, Mom of two boys, six dogs and 11 fish. Gigi to one , friend to many. Trying to make sense of and share my late night insomnia thoughts, my sometimes crazy dreams and anything else I find interesting or helpful. View all posts by Angi Ryan